A New Mom’s Guide to Breastfeeding at Family and Holiday Gatherings

It’s your baby’s first holiday! Ready to make some memories? That first big holiday season with your little one is sure to be full of adorable moments and special times with your loved ones. Holiday gatherings might look a little different this year, but don’t worry. We’ll guide you through it.

This mom is wearing an asymmetrical nursing sweater with easy lift-up flap access for feeding her baby on the go. 

How can I talk to my family about my breastfeeding or pumping needs?

Let your family know that it’s important to continue nursing regularly to maintain your milk supply. La Leche League warns that “holiday weaning” can happen when travel or holiday gatherings delay feedings, which then leads to a reduced milk supply.

At family gatherings, you may need to ask the host if there’s a private room where you can nurse or pump milk. Or you might decide to bring your baby along as an unexpected guest to a party so you can nurse them. Although you might feel uncomfortable bringing the topic up, most hosts are happy to accommodate the new mom in the family!

Cassidy from our VIP Facebook group shares this advice: “Set boundaries, and if a family member offers their chair so you can sit and feed your child, take it! My daughter was also very distracted when around the family and I tried to nurse her. So if you have to go into a room to feed your child, you shouldn’t have to explain that!”

Should I breastfeed in front of others at holiday gatherings?

Whether or not you nurse your baby openly is a very personal decision. It depends on both your comfort level and your baby’s needs. Remember that legally it’s your choice where you nurse your baby, and most states actually have laws that protect nursing mothers’ rights.

If your baby is nursing a lot and you’re at a family party, it’s not always practical to go off into a private room every time they’re hungry. But if you know your baby will be distracted, a quiet space might be better. In either case, it’s not your job to accommodate everyone else’s preferences when you have a little one to feed.

Members of our VIP Facebook group had a lot to share about nursing publicly or privately during gatherings:

• Cychosz: “Go to a private room if available. If you are comfortable, nurse in front of everyone. Don’t second guess your decisions. Your and baby’s comfort are more important than anyone else’s.”

• Hannah: “Take the time to go into a private room to nurse! I always appreciate the time decompressing and holding my babies after others have been enjoying him/her.”

• Kara: “[Nursing privately is] always a nice excuse if you need a break from all the chaos too!”

Ultimately, whether you nurse in front of family is your choice, so do what works best for you and your baby.

How do I handle comments and advice from family members?

If your family makes comments about how you feed your baby, try to stay calm. It can really sting when a well-meaning family member makes comments about your parenting choices, but handling criticism with confidence and grace will help you to have a better holiday season.

Try some of these tips to deal with unwanted comments:

• Share your feelings calmly. Your family member may not realize their comments are hurtful to you. Have an honest discussion with them about how their advice or criticisms make you feel.

• Explain the benefits of breastfeeding. Finding out what your family’s specific concerns are can help you to correct inaccurate information. Inform them of the benefits of breastfeeding so they know you are making a good choice for you and your baby, sharing recommendations from your doctor or the AAP if that’s helpful.

• Practice responses ahead of time. If you think comments might come up at a family gathering, it’s OK to be prepared with scripted responses. For example, you might say, “This is what works for us,” or, “I’m glad to hear that worked well for your family.”

• Be confident in your decision. Don’t let others sway you in making decisions for your family. You’ve already done the research and made a great decision for you and your baby, so own it. If you need to, simply change the subject.

What can I wear to make breastfeeding more comfortable at holiday parties?

Tops and dresses designed specifically for breastfeeding will be your friend this holiday season! Think lots of stretch, layers, and nursing access. This will keep you comfortable and help make nursing both easy and discreet.

This mom is wearing a pine green nursing tunic with zipper access for easy breastfeeding access. 

Our VIP Facebook group member Michie shared her experience with this: “Get holiday clothes you can easily breastfeed in, so embarrassing to have the baby crying for hunger over Christmas dinner while you try to get out of the Christmas sweater you barely fit in anymore. Also babywearing, you can often use a wrap carrier for a nursing cover if you don’t want to find a room somewhere.”

The great news is that you don’t have to sacrifice style for comfort while nursing. Check out our collection of nursing sweaters, tops, and dresses for all seasons and occasions so you can still feel cute and confident at your holiday parties this year.

Flying with your baby? Check out this blog on nursing and pumping tips for moms during the holiday travel season!